Healthy Word Choices from Wise Words – Wise Words to Live By, part 3
Words matter. This message teaches us about the importance of what we say and how we say it. Wise words given in correct tone and timing will be received more easily. We’ll learn about what to avoid and what to say, when to stay silent and when to speak, and how to speak with grace. We need to learn how to always use our words for good and in a Christ-like manner.
Reading God’s words will feed your soul. The Bible is a spiritual guide with principles and truths that, when lived by, will give you joy and spiritual success all the days of your life. The Bible is filled with examples and words of wisdom to live by. God’s words impart true knowledge and understanding. The truth and wisdom of God are all you need to live a spiritually victorious life.
We need to work at our relationship with both God and others. You will become the person God desires you to be when you make Jesus first in your heart. Being the person of God that he desires you to be takes work. It takes diligence. It takes perseverance. It takes listening to the wise words of God found in scripture and applying them to your heart and life. The same is true with the words we speak.
Today we will see how what we say and how we say it is very important. We must learn to speak wise words and speak them properly, both in season and with care.
Understand, the words you speak can never be unspoken. They can never be unsaid. So, we need to use our words wisely. Words matter. How we speak to one another, and the tone we use, matters.
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:21, NIV).
The words you use can encourage and build up a person or they can discourage and tear down a person. Words will either point a person to Jesus or drive them away. We must always be people of faith and encourage others in the way to live, both in a positive manner and with eternal hope. Your words can be used for good or for evil. We need to learn how to always use our words for good and in a Christ-like manner.
I remember hearing parents telling their child “Use your words”. The child got used to signaling or pointing to what they wanted. They were slow in using their words. Simple gestures are ok at times, but using words, spoken correctly, are the best.
Words are how we communicate clearly to one another. Gestures can be misunderstood at times, but words back up the true meaning of a gesture, and the tone or way you say those words carry a lot of weight.
Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a ruling rightly given. 12 Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is the rebuke of a wise judge to a listening ear” (Proverbs 25:11-12).
Even a word of rebuke can be received well, when given properly. The key to remember is that wise words given with correct tone and in a timely manner will be well received whether it is a word of correction or a word of encouragement. Timing is important. Words are important. Motive is also very important. The manner or tone in how the words are spoken is very important.
In the book of Job, we find Job, a righteous man, is having several bad days. He has lost everything: children, possessions, and his health.
‘One day the angels came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them. 7 The Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?”
Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.”
8 Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil’ (Job 1:6-8).
Satan strikes Job’s possessions, family, and his health. Job’s wife is about all Job has left. He was in pain all the way around and his wife told Job. “Just curse God and die.” Now that’s a word that never should have been spoken. Job has lost everything and now three of Job’s friends come and try sympathizing and comforting Job.
“When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. 13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was” (Job 2:12-13).
The best thing the three friends did was to not say a word at first. They simply sat with him in silence. It’s natural to be tempted to say something and offer up advice, but sometimes it’s better simply to wait. There will be a time to give advice but wait and look for the right time.
As a police chaplain I go out on calls where someone has passed away and I go to help the surviving family member or friend. I’ll introduce myself and give my condolences and ask what I can do to help. Often, I will simply listen and be available to them when asked. At the appropriate times I will give some advice, some wise words to comfort in a difficult time. All the while inwardly praying and asking the Lord what to say, how to say it and when to say it.
Job’s friends tried to help Job, but they didn’t really help him. Much of what they said was not helpful at all. We all make mistakes at times regarding what to say or how to say things.
I told you last week that my father told me to “think before you speak.” That is a good word of advice. Think about what you want to say. Think about the tone you might use. Consider addressing the situation at the best time rather than just off the cuff. Take time to think of your response before you speak. How would you like to hear or how would you respond if you had friends like Job and they told you the same things that they told Job? I’m not sure if I want friends like Job’s.
Take a moment and think before you speak. Consider what you are about to say. Will what you say help or hurt the situation? Heated conversations do no one any good. Saying something just to say something is not good either. Truthfully most people are uncomfortable with silence, but silence and listening can be a good thing at times.
Asking the Lord what to do and say is the best thing we can do in most situations. Listen to what the book of Ecclesiastes says in chapter 3.
“a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace” (Ecclesiastes 3:2-8).
In other words, the wise word of scripture tells us there is a time for everything.
When you do speak, let it be positive and uplifting words that glorify God. Refrain from the temptation of having to win an argument. Sometimes it’s best to let things cool down. Be willing to sacrifice a little of your ego to calm the situation. At times you may need to bite your tongue and allow God to work the situation out.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:29-32).
These are wise words. It’s good advice regarding how we should treat one another. Maybe take the blame for something in a way that diffuses the situation. It may not be your fault, but allow time, a soft-spoken word, and God to work things out. Don’t be so quick to be defensive. Don’t be so quick to point out the other person’s error, you may not have the best answer either. Take a neutral stance sometimes.
What are some examples of this kind of grace when we speak?
Maybe I misunderstood.
I’m sorry what I said didn’t come out the way I meant to say it.
I should have listened more before I started talking.
I’m sorry if I came across sounding angry or that I know everything. I did not mean it that way.
Jesus was sinless and took upon himself the sins of the world. Jesus ate with and spoke to sinners. He cared for them and spoke words of faith, but Jesus hated sin. You are not told to avoid sinners, it’s almost impossible to avoid evil or be influenced by such individuals. Thus, scripture tells us to guard our hearts.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. 24 Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips” (Proverbs 4:23-24).
Be careful of the words you use. The talk you hear every day at work or on the street is not always the kind of talk that honors God.
Be careful of what you allow in your heart. Some people may need to work on their vocabulary. Stop using colorful, worldly words. Stop using God’s name in vain. Walk away from immoral or filthy jokes. Turn away, refuse to listen, remove yourself from temptation.
You know the saying “what goes up must come down”? Well, be careful because “what goes in will eventually come out”.
Refuse to focus on the negative. Refuse to repeat an inappropriate story. Fight the urge to share a joke that is inappropriate or on the verge of being offensive and instead look to the Lord.
Have you ever sent a message on Facebook or a text message that you wish you could pull back? Maybe you typed the wrong word, or the auto correct changed the word that you meant to use, resulting in the message being confusing and not saying what you intended. Read the message before you send it because it’s almost impossible to get it back before the person reads it. The same is true with the words you speak every day.
Be careful and guard the words you use. Speak words of encouragement, words of faith, words of hope, instructive words. Avoid divisive words. The enemy of your soul will try to influence you by the words you hear and the words you allow to reside in your heart. Do not let your guard down. Do not become distracted by the cares of the world. Focus on God Almighty. Allow the word of God to fill your heart, mind, and soul. Spend time in prayer. Spend time in the word of God. Spend time with other believers and allow the Holy Spirit to conform you into the person of God, he desires you to become. Know what you believe in your heart is true and live it, speak it, display it with all your might. Remember:
“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water” (James 3:9-12).
James is correct, the answer is no. Fresh and salt water cannot flow from the same spring. James tells us that we have only two options regarding the words we speak: Our words can speak blessings and bring praise to God, or the words we speak will tear people down and curse man.
Understand, often the words you speak are associated with the motive in your heart. What is your motive? Choose your words wisely. What we say or how we say things can be the result of poorly choosing our words. Wrong motives, worldly intentions, or thoughtless words, are words we should avoid at all costs when talking with another person.
The same is true when we pray.
“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures” (James 4:3).
At times we try to tell the Lord what to do. Other times we get in the way of what God is wanting to do. You may not have all the answers, the correct response, or use the correct voice tone at times. Slow down, be careful of what you say and how you say it.
The circumstance is not always an easy one to resolve. Leave room for God to reveal the answer to the situation. True joy, true blessing is seeing God be God in every situation.
The wise words found in scripture speak to not forcing your way. Forcing one way may bring you happiness for a moment, but it is not lasting. It will not bring you true peace. It will not result in lasting friendships. It will not glorify God. In the end you will not receive all your desire. When you force your way, you sin, alienate yourself from God and other, and you may not become all God desires you to be.
Allow God to be God in every conversation. Give care in the words you use. Give care in the tone you use. Give care of your motives and consider the other person. Give care and pray, asking God to direct what you say and do. Remember God first, others second, yourself last.
Understand, when freshwater flows into the ocean the fresh river water mixes with the ocean water and becomes salty. You may live and work in the world, but you do not have to become a part of the world.
Hold fast to the wise word of God. Meditate on God’s word and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace. Let the wise words of God guide you in what you say and how you say it. Consider your motives and the tone you use. Be an encourage. Be a person of faith. Be a good listener and always speak a word of hope or correction in season. Remember you represent Jesus in all you do and speak. Remember: A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver (Proverbs 25:11).
Suggested Praise and Worship
YOUR SUPPORT IS APPRECIATED
If this message has been helpful to you, we’d be grateful for your support. A small gift of $5 can help us reach our goal of helping people grow in faith, heal, laugh, and thrive—both locally and globally. It’s because of people like you that this ministry can offer hope, help, encouragement, and a closer walk in faith with God.
This and other sermons brought to you by Faith Chapel, an Assemblies of God church in Pleasanton, CA.