Liberty or Bondage? Forgiveness is a Choice – Life Is a Journey, part 12
Would you rather live in bondage or freedom? This message illustrates the outcome of forgiveness vs unforgiveness and gives us three truths to live by.
We all have the choice of forgiveness, for better or worse. Which path will you choose today?
Through this series, you’ll learn how to live well & enjoy God's promises. You are loved by God; He knows your name. He has a plan for your life. Get helpful advice, encouragement, and hope for a life well lived in 2021 and beyond.
Are you walking in faith and victory? Set your eyes on the promises of God. You only have one life journey; say yes to Jesus. Like the parables of the buried treasure and the valuable pearl, stop at nothing to gain your entry into the kingdom of heaven.
Do you need to give (or ask for) forgiveness today?
power in forgiveness; bondage in unforgiveness
To forgive or not forgive, that is the question. As on any journey in life, you will find yourself at a fork in the road at some point. You will need to decide for yourself which way you will go. Both ways may very well take you to the same destination, but one may take you a little longer than the other. Or one of the ways will take you in a different direction altogether and far from your desired and intended destination.
It is always your choice. What will you choose? Forgiveness or unforgiveness.
I read a story of a man who loved dogs. One day he decided to put a new sidewalk in front of his house. He smoothed out the last square foot of concrete. Over and over again, dogs kept walking through and sitting on his wet concrete, messing it up. Each time, he’d go over and fix it, only to see another dog wreck it again. The man went inside, grabbed his gun and was ready to shoot the dog. The neighbor rushed over and said, “What are you going to do? I thought you loved dogs.” The man thought for a minute and said, “I do, I do like dogs. But I hate dogs that walk and sit in fresh concrete.”
We all love to hear stories about forgiveness, we like the idea of being forgiven if we make a mistake, but when it hits close to home, we sometimes have a hard time extending forgiveness.
Do not take the fork in the road that leads away from forgiveness. Instead, take the way that leads to forgiveness.
Stop and take a moment to breathe deep and remember you were also forgiven. Consider the power of forgiveness. It is an act of pardoning an offender. It is an act of extending mercy. An act of canceling deserved punishment. Forgiveness is freely extending mercy to someone who may have offended you.
To forgive is to let go; to dismiss; to cancel a debt. It is freeing someone of an obligation. It is liberating.
Forgiveness is:
The releasing of something owed to you.
Letting go of a grievance you may have against another.
A Christian virtue.
Now I want you to consider the bondage of unforgiveness.
Unforgiveness:
Leads to bitterness, resentment, anger, hatred and often regret.
Is a form of bondage.
Holds a grudge against another.
Is the inability to let go of a hurt or pain.
Often results in physical issues, such as sickness, chronic pain, cancer, ulcers, and blood pressure issues.
Often results in broken friendships, broken relationships and broken marriages.
Is a sin and can result in punishment.
Do you put limits on forgiveness?
In Matthew 18, we find Peter asking Jesus a question about forgiveness:
‘Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. 23 Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26 At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.”
28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. 29 His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ 30 But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.”
32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”’ (Matthew 18:21-35, NIV).
Peter might have thought he would get a positive response from Jesus when he asked Jesus about forgiving someone up to seven times.
Peter would have known the rabbinic teaching: a person must be forgiven three times and on the fourth time they did not need to forgive the person anymore. This teaching was taken from the book of Amos where God was seen to forgive three times but not the fourth. The idea is that if God only forgave three times, a person only needed to forgive three times. After all a person is not better than God. If forgiving three times was good enough for God, it’s good enough for Peter and all mankind.
Peter might have thought that extending forgiveness twice as much as what the Rabi’s taught was being very generous and that Jesus would commend him for going beyond the rabbinic teaching. But no.
Let me just say that I am personally glad that forgiveness does not stop with three times.
I am thankful for this teaching on forgiveness. We learn there is no debt that is so large that it cannot be forgiven, there is no limit to the number of times someone should be forgiven, and forgiveness must come from the heart.
It is here that we see, having been forgiven, we are to forgive others. It is also here that we learn that unforgiveness is dealt with harshly by God.
It seems that Peter was looking for a number. How many times shall I forgive? What was the legal or required number of times that Peter needed to forgive? Most people have a limit with regards to forgiveness, much like we learned in the story about the dog.
Peter was wanting to know the acceptable breaking point for extending forgiveness.
Do you have a limit to how much or how often you are willing to forgive?
Thankfully, Jesus told Peter a story illustrating forgiveness is more than just a number, but rather it’s a matter of the heart.
However, that is not how we act or live at times. For many, there is a limit to the size of the debt or the number of times. Thank the Lord, the number of times matters little to God and the size of the debt matters little to God.
“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. 9 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; 10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. 13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him” (Psalm 103:8-13).
Jesus: the ultimate example of forgiveness.
Jesus hung on a cross, suspended between heaven and earth; all man’s sins placed upon him; past, present, and future sins. This is when Jesus said this:
‘Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots’ (Luke 23:34).
Jesus, God’s one and only son, sought forgiveness for those who nailed him to the cross. The ones Jesus wanted to extend forgiveness towards were the ones who drove the nails into his hands and feet. The ones who had no idea that they just crucified the son of God.
Jesus also had in mind forgiveness for you and me. It was because of our sins that Jesus went to the cross. It was for a debt that we could never pay ourselves.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son” (John 3:16-18).
It is out of love, mercy, and the grace of God that we can and do experience forgiveness of sin.
“Blessed are those whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. 8 Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord will never count against them” (Romans 4:7-8).
We would never be able to atone for our sins ourselves. The debt of our sins is too great.
Do you offer forgiveness from your heart?
An article in 2010 by Philip Massey gives us an insight to just how much these two servants owed. It would take 20 years of their wages and saving everything they made to pay back 1 talent owed. It is estimated that:
10,000 talents owed by the first servant was equal to 200,000 years’ salary, and would be worth more than $7 billion dollars.
100 denarii owed by the second servant was equal to 4 months’ salary, and would be worth around $12,000 dollars.
The first servant owed a staggering amount of debt that he could not repay, even if given several lifetimes to do so. In order to settle the debt, the servant, his family and all he owned would be sold. This might not have paid off the entire debt, but the debt would have been considered settled. But the servant pleaded for mercy. Out of pity, the master released and forgave the debt and he was free to go.
The second servant owed a sizeable debt to the first servant, but might have been able to repay it. He too pleaded for an extension to repay his debt. However, the first servant who was just forgiven his debt, refused to forgive the debt owed him. The first servant was unforgiving and put the second servant in prison until he could pay the debt in full.
We see in this story how the first servant is confronted with his wickedness. He was shown mercy, yet he would not show mercy to another. The first servant’s actions revealed his heart, and because of his actions and sinful heart he would now be found guilty of his wicked heart and was required to repay his debt in full.
This story illustrates the seriousness of an unforgiving spirit and heart. The story closes with a grave warning to the person who refuses to forgive:
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (Matthew 18:35).
These verses give us the simple truth about forgiveness, and how to live our lives every day.
3 truths for how to live each day
As Christians we are to be examples of Christ to the lost. Both inside and outside the church walls; both inside and outside the family of God.
1. We are to forgive others just as Christ has forgiven us.
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:12-13).
I challenge you today:
Don’t allow resentment to keep you from displaying forgiveness.
Don’t allow revenge to stop you from extending forgiveness.
Don’t allow remembering an offence to delay you from expressing forgiveness.
Resist the urge to demand justice. Seek a resolution that both parties find acceptable.
Forgiveness is a virtue. Forgiveness does not come easy, or cheap. It is not without a cost. It is displaying a Christ-like in attitude. Forgiveness can be a struggle for the one who was offended or hurt.
You might be able to forgive once, twice, three times. A fourth time, you may think that is enough; no more forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not as natural as we might like to think. The world is not naturally forgiving. Forgiving someone means extending mercy.
Forgiveness is not looking the other way or ignoring the offence. Forgiveness is not legalistic and needing to forgive a certain number of times. Forgiveness is extending mercy and grace to someone without demanding or asking anything in return.
When Jesus told Peter to forgive 7 x 70, Jesus was not giving a limit to the number of times he needed to forgive before making them pay their debt. The 7 x 70 was a representation of an unlimited number of times Peter was to forgive.
Aren’t you glad that God does not keep count of how many times you have asked him to forgive you? I know I am Glad. How many times have you needed to seek the forgiveness of God? How many times has he forgiven you? Have you sinned only once?
Listen to one of the lines in the Prayer Jesus taught his disciples:
“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12).
The word “debts” is plural not singular. More than one. And just as we pray for our debts to be forgiven, we are to have forgiven (past tense) our debtors.
Back to our text in Matthew 18:21-22, we learn that we are to forgive. However in verses 23 and 24 we see that there comes a time when debts and debtors are called to account. One day each of us will be called to give account and pay the debt we owe.
2. A time will come when we need forgiveness.
The enemy of your soul wants to see you pay for your sins. He will try to trick you into thinking you are OK and that you do not need forgiveness of sin. He will try to get you to think you have all the time in the world. He will want you to think that there is no need to worry about sin or the debt that you owe.
However, much like the story of the servant who was called to repay his enormous debt and he sought more time, one day we will all face the King of kings and Lord of lords. No more time will be given. The debt will be either be considered paid in full because of faith in Christ or off to prison where sin debtors go (eternal punishment) where they will experience torture (the weeping and gnashing of teeth).
3. We need to be willing to forgive, and develop a forgiving heart.
Display an attitude of forgiveness and mercy to others because of the enormous debt that you have been forgiven by God Almighty.
Do not allow matters to get out of hand.
Do not let unforgiveness fester.
Acknowledge the debt of sin in your own life. Accept the fact that you are the one who needs forgiveness sometimes.
Why should we extend forgiveness and mercy to others?
“because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment” (James 2:13).
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
Which path will you choose today?
Do you need to extend forgiveness? Do you need to ask for forgiveness? Don’t put it off any longer. Ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes and show you which way to turn at the fork in the road.
Seek the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge him and he will direct your path (Proverbs 3:5-6).
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Matthew 13:44-46: What does your forever—your eternity—look like? As hard as it is to imagine, God has already promised us a priceless, personal treasure. All we have to do is say yes to Jesus and He will help us get there.